A Letter to Ashley
by KatelynRoxUrSox
Summary: After JJ delivers the news to the team of Emily's death, she has a talk with Ashley and gives her some advice, and something special from their recently departed friend.


**JJ/Ashley- Prompt: Rare Pairing with JJ.**

JJ had delivered the news. As soon as the words left her lips, JJ's face went a crimson red. Her face flushed just as the news had over whelmed every one. Her sparkling blue eyes, which were blood shot, were glimmering with the tears that rimmed her eyes. She looked exhausted, and I knew, she didn't want to be giving the news as much as we didn't want to hear it. The words kept running through my head.

_"She never made it off the table."_

I was frozen for nearly a minute in shock. She didn't just say that… She couldn't have…Did she? I was in denial. But then reality set in. I saw Dave look away, Derek hold Garcia closely, Reid began to sob, and Hotch stand and walk out of the room. A tremor shook through JJ's body. I felt so badly for her. For all of them. Emily was my mentor, and we were growing closer, but these people were her family. They loved her and cared about her more than she ever knew. And now she was gone.

JJ looked at me, and her eyes latched onto mine. Before I could look away, that connection had been made. I rose from my chair quickly and started of the room.

"Ashley," JJ called softly. I walked out of the door and started walking down the hall way when JJ called out, the second time.

"Ashley," JJ called again, reaching for my hand as I walked away. She grabbed onto it and stopped me. Her hands were warm, compared to the iciness of mine.

"Are you okay?" JJ asked gently. I looked away so she wouldn't see me cry. I bit my lip, collected myself, and turned back to her.

"Are you?" I asked with a sigh. This seemed to surprise her. I guess she was planning on being the feelings bucket. I don't think she expected that from me.

"Excuse me?" JJ stuttered. I had only just met her when she came to help us find Emily, but at that moment, I felt like I had known her for forever.

"Are you…ok?" I repeated, with a little more confidence then before.

"I…Ashley," She said sighing, "I'm not a profiler, but…are you avoiding answering this because you don't want to?"

"I just…you knew her better is all," I said. What I meant was, _she liked you guys a lot more than she would ever like me, _but of course that's not what I was going to say.

But I didn't have to say it. It was obvious that JJ knew what I was thinking.

"Ashley…she really cared about you, too, you know," JJ said, as if she could read my mind. I didn't know how to respond to this. We walked a little bit farther and sat down in two chairs.

"You can talk to me, Ashley. Please…be honest with me," JJ begged me. I wondered why she cared so much. She didn't even know me really.

"What do you want to know?" I asked. It came off a little harsher than I had intended, but that didn't bother JJ.

"Obviously there's a lot on your mind. There's a lot on everyone's mind. But you should know that Emily…she did care about you," JJ said.

"I just…" I began after a minute, "I don't understand. Why her? She was so sweet, and funny and kind, and brave. Why did this have to happen to her? She didn't deserve this shit from this monster," I said, feeling the tears threaten me. I was suddenly so angry, so furious. And so tired.

I leaned into JJ's arms and she held me in a warm hug. It was sincere, and for the first time, I felt really, _really _accepted.

"I'm sorry," I apologized after a moment, "This must be hard on you, too and here I am-" I began, but JJ cut me off. She pushed one of her curled blonde locks behind her ear and held my hand, squeezing it in reassurance.

"I'm ok. And you don't need to be sorry at all," JJ told me, giving me a sweet smile.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Here. Emily wanted me to give this to you. She…had some idea of how this was all going to unfold, and she knew it might not have been a good thing. So she asked me if anything happened, to give this to you," JJ said softly, handing me an envelope.

I slowly teared the envelope and pulled out a letter. It was written on lined notebook paper.

"I'll leave so you can read this in private," JJ offered considerately, beginning to stand.

"No…please…will you stay?" I asked gently.

"Yeah. Of course," JJ said nodding. She sat back down and held my hand while I read the letter.

_Dear Ashley,_

_ If you're reading this, something bad has obviously happened to me. I just want you to know that if there are any doubts in your mind right now, this was _not_ at all your fault. It is mine. _

_ I'm sorry I could't have been a better mentor for you. I was distracted by all of this 'drama' in my life, I couldn't help you with yours. I wish I could've been there for you then, and I wish I could be there for you now. If you're not sure that you can do this job, I assure you, you can. You are smart in and out of the field, you're strong, emotionally and physically, and God, are you brave. I can't imagine being as young as you and wanting to do these things- wanting to put away the terrible people in this world._

_ I suck at giving advice and I'm really sorry for that, too. In fact, I'm just so sorry for so many things, and I really can't tell you how much I am. So anyways, even though this advice may not be worth it to read, I'm going to try to give it to you anyways, just in case._

_ If you ever have a doubt about yourself, remember that you are one of the strongest people I know._

_ If you ever are conflicted about how to handle a situation, think, 'what would Emily do', and then immediately to everything the way Hotch or Derek would. Most things I would do could probably get you in trouble, or fired. :)_

_ If you ever need to talk, come find me, or something that reminds you of me. If you are ever looking for advice that will actually do you some good, you need to call JJ. She was my best friend, and she knows a lot. She knows what I would do in a situation, and she knows what I would tell you. And she makes delicious cookies._

_ Anyways, Ashley, the point of this letter is a lot simpler than I'm making it. I'm no good with words, it's just a lot of babble. All I'm really trying to say is that you can do it. You can do it anything you want to do. I have faith in you._

_ I feel honored to have been able to mentor what little I could. I miss you and I wish you all the best in your endeavors._

_ ~Emily Prentiss_

I looked up from reading the letter and wiped the massive amount of tears flowing from my eyes. I let go of JJ's hand.

"Are you…ok?" JJ asked gently.

"I will be…" I said, wiping my eyes again, with the sleeve of my sweater, still staring at the letter, memorizing the familiar handwriting- the way she curled her letters, dotted her 'i's, slanted the crosses on her 't's backwards. .

"Can I get you anything?" JJ asked me.

"No…no, I'm just going to go home," I said with a small shrug.

"Ok. You need a ride, or anything?" JJ asked one more time.

"Thanks, but I'm ok," I told her.

"Ok, well…give me a call if you do," JJ told me.

"I will," I promised. As I turned to leave I stopped.

"You know, JJ…she talked a lot about you to me," I said, smiling a little. I turned to look around at JJ.

"She did?" JJ asked me, walking closer to me again.

"Yeah. She really loved you. You were obviously her best friend. She talked about how good a listener you were. How funny you were. How pretty you were. How sweet your son was, and how good a mother you were to him," I smiled for a minute as I listed all the things Emily told me about her. JJ grinned, closing her eyes. She was probably thinking of Emily.

"Most of all she said how good of a friend you were…" I said, "Thank you so much for everything," I told her and hugged her.

"Always," She told me. She let go and said, "And Ashley, anytime you need anything, give me a call. Or if you just want to talk," She waved her phone, "It's always on ring." She squeezed my hand tightly.

"Thank you, JJ," I said. Then, with the letter in my hand, I left her in the hall way.

_A few weeks later after Emily's funeral._

"Well…I thought I'd talk to you today," I said softly. I kicked the dirt at my feet, with my heels.

"I read the letter every night. I miss you, Emily," I said. I stood in front of her grave and stared at her name engraved into the stone. I knelt down and placed the flowers on ground in front of the head stone. I ran my thumb over the letters of her name, engraved in the cold, granite headstone.

Looking up at the sky, and then back at her grave, I said, "Emily. Maybe you can hear me. Maybe you can't. But I want you to know that…I am honored to have been mentored by you. I am honored to have known you as a colleague. And I am _so_ honored, to have known you… as a friend."


End file.
